Wednesday, January 14, 2009
(I took this photo of myself on the Caribbean island, "Little Corn," in Nicaragua.)
Last night I made a commitment to myself and my friend Mark that I am going to spend 20 minutes each day visualizing what I want.
Tonight was the first night of my new practice. I was in the meditation hall, and after I finished my TM practice, I began to visualize what I really want.
First, I saw myself standing at the edge of a steep cliff. I turned my back to the abyss, outstretched my arms, looked up to the heavens, and allowed myself to fall backwards, surrendering everything to God. "Please fill me with Your grace, so that I may do Your work." As I began to fall back, I suddenly began to flap my wings...I was flying! I didn't find out that I had wings until I took the risk and let go, giving up my illusion of control.
Then I visualized the lifestyle that I want. I imagined myself at my house on the beach somewhere in the Caribbean, practicing yoga on the beach with friends, picking young coconuts and drinking the coconut water, writing, reading, laughing, and feeling light as a feather. I was thin and lean and strong and grounded and felt so healthy and comfortable in my body.
I imagined myself driving through the green hills in southern Italy in a little red convertible with my friend Jenna, laughing with awe at our good fortune. We ate fresh, dark red, juicy tomatoes, basil, and fresh mozzarella.
I saw myself recording music with so many of my friends, like Jenna and Ferenz and Deborah and Sarah and Micah and Amine. I had recorded countless albums in my visions, each one exquisitely beautiful and full of love and light.
I saw myself traveling all over the world, meeting friends in places like Paris, London, and San Francisco for tea at beautiful little coffee shops.
All of my friends and I had more money than we could ever know what to do with, and we were free to create, travel, eat well, and do all the things that bring us so much joy.
I had bought the apartment that I used to live in in the East Village in New York City. I tossed my keys onto the counter after a yoga class at Dharma Mittra's yoga studio, feeling happy, relaxed, and vibrantly alive and healthy.
Then I saw myself sitting in the airport, waiting for a flight, holding my husband's hand. We were deeply in love and blissfully happy to be together.
I was driving in the four-door black Mercedes sedan that I have always wanted, and then I was riding in it and my husband was driving. I squeezed his hand, took an enormous, effortlessly deep breath into my wonderfully open heart, and felt it swell with love for him, for myself, and for everything and everyone.
At the end of my vision, I noticed that my feet were in the dirt in a beautiful garden. I had a freshly picked, juicy red tomato in my hand and I took a bite. I looked up and saw that my mom was there with me. We plopped down and sat in the dirt, both laughing gleefully.
My eyes filled with tears of gratitude for the love and gratitude that I felt in my heart. I felt connected to everything and everyone, everywhere.
I opened my eyes and realized that I was still in the meditation hall at MUM, and the 20 minutes was over. As I was leaving the meditation hall, the woman working asked me, "Did you have a nice meditation?" Never before has anyone asked me that. I smiled like I knew a secret that she didn't and replied cheerfully and firmly, "Yes."