Tuesday, August 26, 2008

History Starts Now

What kind of world do you want?


Friday, August 8, 2008


I know this is kind of obvious, but for some reason I need to write this post about duality, I guess as a reminder to myself about what I already know. In some ways, that's all we ever do, is remember what we already know. Over and over, because we keep forgetting, and there is a beauty and a joy in this forgetting and remembering, although it can be frustrating at times.

And this forgetting and remembering, forgetting and remembering, is part of the duality. Well, this perceived duality, which isn't even duality at all.

Contraction and expansion, contraction and expansion, as we give birth to a new way of being.

I really hate to suffer, and I have a deep-seated fear of the suffering becoming "too much." I have endured seasons of my life when the hell in my mind has causes a strong desire for me to leave the planet altogether. Existential crises, where I wondered, "What is the point of all this anyway? And why should I stick around for it?" There is so much suffering in the world, it's been nearly unbearable for me at times.

But this suffering carves out more and more space for joy to fill one's being. And as I age, I can see more and more clearly, the incredible beauty of it all.

This is the wisdom of duality. This is the richness of it all.

Kahlil Gibran describes this so well.

"Your joy is your sorrow unmasked. And the well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears. And how else can it be? The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain. Is not the cup that holds your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven? And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives? When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy. When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight. Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Sorrow is the greater." But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your head board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed. So you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at a standstill and balanced."
-Kahlil Gibran

You Are Already Enlightened

Standing in the water, knee deep

Protesting - no, no, no

I couldn't possibly get in the water

You're standing in it!!!!!!

It would be too cold

You're standing in it!!!!!!!!!

Or too scary

You're standing in it!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really, I just couldn't

You're standing in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely not, it's out of the question

You're standing in it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Universe is Screaming Enlightenment

Standing in the lake with Evan

Waves roaring

Facing into the wind and water

Potent conversation

Powerful forces at play

Or work

He says to me, almost shouting

Because the waves and the wind are so loud

"That star is pointing to enlightenment!

That cloud is pointing to enlightenment!

It's like the Universe is screaming enlightenment!"

And for some reason it's so hard for people to see and hear

We build up defenses

And forget that we are infinite

We believe that we are small and powerless

When, in fact, the opposite is true

Clear, starry night, screaming enlightenment

Or at least whispering it gently

Either way, I wish I could hear it

Monday, August 4, 2008

I Want To Tell Your Story

If everything was just pure joy & delight

I might not be quite so driven to write

It’s sometimes the pain that’s most inspiring

Although it’s uncomfortable, draining and tiring

And writing can turn pain into pleasure

Sorry to joy, and rubbish to treasure

It reminds me I’m not the doer, I’m a channel

As the poem writes me, I feel emptiful

Spirit expresses itself in so many ways

Filling the world with divine love & grace

I feel my heart fill with humble praise

And it shines a light through the murky haze

Desire, the fire of passion burns bright

My soul is blazing and longs to take flight

The heavens are calling me home to the Source

Such a powerful, magnetic, invisible force

I sob with the longing to finally go home

And all I can do is write this poem

Or sing about it in a song

Oh, how I want to return to where I belong

There must be a purpose for this existence

And yet, I still feel so much resistance

I feel like an angel who’s fallen to Earth

And entered the world through a human birth

There must be something for me to do here

Now if only the purpose were a bit more clear

Life would be so much more bearable

Instead of seeming so pointless and terrible

So I continue diligently on my path

Unwavering faith my dependable map

I pray & I pray to my Beloved Lord

Give me the strength to keep moving forward

Show me a sign so I know I’m okay

And let me know that You listen when I pray

Take me in Your infinite loving arms

So that I’m safe from the world’s harms

Comfort me when I feel so much pain

Shelter me & keep me dry when it rains

I’m your humble servant—just show me what to do

I lay down my life on the sacred altar before You

I praise You & bow to You now and forever

Your name is on my lips & heart in my every endeavor

So do what You will with me—use me for your glory

Fill me with your love & grace so I can tell your story

Sunday, August 3, 2008


Today I finished reading "The Gift of Change" by Marianne Williamson, and I am grateful to her for reminding me of the importance of asking for divine guidance and grace. This is different than what I have been practicing for the past few years, which has been more of an intention-setting practice. And this practice has been far from regular. A list of new moon intentions here and there, but nothing consistent. And we all know that consistency is the key.

I have had a sneaking suspicion for quite some time that it was not quite so simple as to think that I could just list what I want on a piece of paper, and expect to receive it. Even if this list was accompanied by visualizations and strong emotions. Because how could I expect (with my limited view, as opposed to the omniscience of God) to know what was best for me? Who am I to think I know what I need? Is it really in my by best interest to "manifest" one million dollars by the end of the month? Or would it just spoil me and keep me from doing some higher work that I have been born here on Earth to do?

don't know. Or purport to know. However, God does. And so it seems like it might be more beneficial to ask God to give me the courage, strength, clarity, and wisdom that I need to navigate through life in the best way possible, for the Highest Good of all.

I intend from this day forward that I am in constant communication with God. No more calling on the Divine only in challenging times, when I am desperate need of help. From now on, I keep my mind on God as much as I possibly can. I remember that I am God's child and nothing that I do can change that.

I take responsibility for my mistakes, I ask for forgiveness, and I receive it. When I find myself in a state of judgment, I ask God to help me forgive myself, and anyone else who I am judging.

I bring the Love of God everywhere I go, and in doing so, I bless all things.

I kneel and kiss the ground daily.

I give thanks for my unending list of blessings. I pay more attention to the things that I have previously taken for granted, and I feel profound gratitude for it all.

I pray to be a flowing channel of God's grace, constantly remembering that the glory is God's.

May I be used in service to the Highest Good, to God's divine plan. May I surrender to this higher purpose, and be guided to the work that I am here to do.

I am open, I am ready. God, please show me the way.

Election 2008

Dear Mr. Obama,

Upon reading about your sudden shift in your policy to becoming open to offshore drilling, there is a very good chance that I will now vote for Ralph Nader.

Up until this point, I had planned to vote for you, but this change in your policy about offshore drilling has shown me that your principles are not as I thought they were.

I think it's important for you to know that there are many people who are on the fence between voting for you and Mr. Nader, simply because Ralph Nader is clearly actually "for the people" which I thought you were, and now am not so sure.

Any candidate who is "for the people" is also "for the environment" in which the people live. We are at a very important point in history, and the survival of the human species is the biggest issue that we face. Therefore, the cost of oil has little significance when compared with the continuation of the human species, which is priceless.

Thank you for reconsidering your stance on offshore drilling.

Erin Pillman