Monday, April 20, 2009
Nagging itching spider web of unsure vagueness.
Amorphous mass of energetic grayness.
Slippery slimy feelings that won’t reveal their names.
Shady shadowy shapeshifters with no clear rules to their games.
Begging me to come in closer, but doing everything they can to keep me out.
Filling me with icky feelings of insecurity & doubt.
They move so quickly and are hard to identify.
They run so fast, then run & hide.
I slay these demons with my favorite pen.
The one I fill with ink over & over again.
I analyze, dissect, and feel.
Instead of choosing distracting foods & email.
I sit, I wait, I listen, I observe.
I write it down, I put it in words.
These emotions hold no power over the greatness that is I.
I am the master, the creator of my life.
I wrote this poem last night and it was quite a triumphant moment. I came home feeling very emotional, and with this nagging feeling in my heart and gut. In the past I have sometimes chosen to avoid feeling these kinds of emotions by either turning on my computer or eating food to numb and distract myself. However, last night, I said to myself, "Erin, sit down and feel this. And write about it." And I did, and then I called my sister Jenna to share it with her and it felt SO GOOD!!!