Sunday, July 3, 2011


Today is a particularly potent day in the life. At the moment I am sitting at Whole Foods, feeling safe and grateful. I just narrowly escaped a tree falling on my car during a wild thunderstorm here in Washington, D.C.

The day began by moving most of my things into storage in the basement of the house I have been living in in Takoma Park, Maryland for the past five month. It’s been so very lovely to share this house with some wonderful people, and I have grown to really love Maryland and the D.C. metro area. I feel glad to be here, and there are so many wonderful people here who I now call friends.

After I put my boxes in the basement, I loaded up my car with the things that I anticipate wanting to have with me during the month of July, and I left the house feeling extremely somber and apprehensive, tender and vulnerable.

What does the future hold? We never can really know. And yet, some things are more predictable, dependable, stable, and secure than others. If I am paying rent to live somewhere, there is a much higher chance that my place to live is stable, secure. No longer am I in this situation. I have again taken a giant leap of faith and now find myself blowing with the wind in this magnificent, magical Universe.

After I left the house, I parked my car a few blocks away and walked down to the creek that I love so much. Nearly every day, I wake up and walk along Sligo Creek. I have enjoyed so many hours writing and meditating, phone conversations, walks with friends, and walks in solitude along this gorgeous area of Takoma Park. And today I bid her farewell. For now. I sat on a rock along the creek and I cried. Deep sadness washed over me. I felt very, very alone in a very big world.

In one hand I held a leaf, and in the other a piece of wood. Both pieces were from dear friends on whom I have leaned upon this past month as I have walked this transitional transformational path. These sisters have been rocks of support as I made the decision to leave the house I was living in and to trust that I will continue to be cared for as I walk in the metaphorical darkness.

And in this moment it was time to release these pieces back into their natural setting. I released them to affirm my existence as a sovereign being here on the Earth. I am so grateful for my friends and family. And for all the forces of Nature that support me as I walk this long, beautiful road, as I journey from place to place, following my heart and intuition, even when the logical part of me would rather I live a more conventional life.

And yet, a sovereign being I am, and this is a very empowering piece of truth to affirm, especially as I am finding myself once again “on The Road.” The Road is a very familiar place to me, and it’s also a place that I had not anticipated revisiting so soon.

After my most recent chapter of gypsy living, I was exhausted and desperate to get “off The Road.” Please God, please let me live somewhere, let me have a normal life with a home and a community and steady work.

And I had it. For one fleeting moment, it feels. And here I am again, my car is full of my possessions, and tonight I will sleep at my friends’ house in Bethesda, Maryland. I am so blessed to have such wonderful, loving, supportive friends. So very blessed.

So I sit here feeling incredibly vulnerable. I have set my intentions time and time again, writing them down and speaking them aloud. I feel in my heart that God hears me when I pray, that the Universe supports me in manifesting my desires, that Nature is organizing something magnificent on my behalf and on the behalf of the Whole.

So just be patient, Erin, I have told myself time and time again. Trust. Allow life to unfold in all its stunning perfection, it’s divine design, its cosmically magical alignment.

And yet, there is a part of me that is trembling. “This is not what I want!” part of me is crying. I want a home, a community, a stable life! I want to know where I will sleep, work, record my music, be with my friends. I want to know that I am safe and secure and protected.

The truth is that I AM safe and secure and protected. In each and every moment, life is exactly as it should be. This is absolute truth, and yet there is a part of me that feels confused.

And then there is a part of me that is remembering that I chose this. I asked for a magnificent life, and this is what I am creating with each and every breath.

I saw Woody Allen’s new film “Midnight in Paris” the other night and it really touched my heart. I saw these fabulous artists, writers, and musicians from the 1920’s hanging out at Gertrude Stein’s house in Paris, and it stirred something in my heart.

I want to live in a community of artists like this. I want to have friends around me with whom I am creating and recording music, with whom I am working with on lots of different co-creative collaborative projects. My desire is to create art, beauty, events, and music to uplift, inspire, heal, and connect people with their innermost Selves.

I have so many ideas, dreams, inspired aspirations. I am here to raise the vibration here on the Earth. I am here to dream a more and more beautiful world into being. I am here to express and create and dance and sing and live life as the celebration that it is. I am here to radiate joy and shine my light and sing my heart’s song.

I lay down my life on the sacred altar before God, and ask that I be used as a divine vessel of grace, inspiration, Love, and pure joy.

And I ask that the support organize itself around me, so that I can work in the way that I love to work, so that I can sing and feel grounded and supported in a beautiful, loving, creative community of like-hearted souls.

This is what I am creating.

I will be staying with my friends in Bethesda for a few nights, and after this I know not where I will go. I know not how the Universe will enfold me in Her warm and loving arms. I have leapt and I will be caught. I already AM caught, and I stay grounded in this truth as I stay grounded in the present moment of Now.

A great story is being written; I am entering a dramatically more epic and beautiful chapter than I can even imagine.

I love living in the D.C. area, and I am also completely open to relocating again. I am a free bird, ready to go wherever the divine flow carries me. I am moving into a beautiful new space, perhaps a house sitting opportunity which will give me some time to work on my creative projects. This part of the story is yet to be written.

I am open and I am ready. We are living in extraordinarily times here on Planet Earth. It’s 2011 and so much is changing so quickly. We are accelerating into a New Paradigm in which Love and Truth regain their rightful place as the main focus of our attention. And I am here to be a part of it. I am here to sing my song, to play my note, to share my heart and gifts with the world in the way that only I can.

I have been cleared for takeoff, and all of last month I was speeding down the runway. I now take flight, and I am grateful for the prayers and blessings and grace and miracles that fill my heart and my life.

Thank you for being a part of this journey. I am here to reflect back to you your own divine purpose, and your own beauty and light.

Can you see it?

It’s so, so beautiful.

1 comment:

Ryan Mlynarczyk said...

Hello beautiful soul! wow! this is an amazing blog entry in which i very much resonate in this moment with all the same struggles. though we are living at The Ecohouse in Durham, NC this is not our long term home and everything inside me yearns to plant roots, plant a garden, build a cobb house, live amongst people in community I will be getting to know for a long time to come and yes, even raise kids with my love Mandy. And alas, all seems to be coming slowly, and I have to be patient. it does seem to be on it's way as I've heard the elders at Humminbird Community say, "It's like a huge cargo plane making it's slow never ending just takes a long time." You are welcome to come visit us. We live in Durham, NC and are creating a small community here in Northgate Park. Doing co-creative permaculture artistic things and have some chickens, ducks, 2 dogs, 4 cats, and 5 people living here. we would need to arrange things with you (i.e. length of visit, space, etc.) but Mandy and I love you dearly and would be uplifted by your energy I know it. xoxo Ryan