Sunday, March 8, 2009

Shades of Grey

The rain has been pouring down for days. I look up at the skylight, a square grey and white image – part of a tree peeks into the view through the window, blowing gracefully in the wind.

The raindrops are deliciously clear, clean, refreshing, rejuvenating – large drops falling on the window pane in circles that ripple out into expanding rings. Mesmerizing. If I blur my eyes, I can see God.

As the rings of water overlap, the patterns on the glass glitter subtly, and the images of the trees dance in the background. Back and forth, back and forth, waving in the wind. The sky is the lightest shade of grey, and vague outlines of wispy clouds drift by.

Simple awareness, the pleasures of the senses – free and abundant to all beings equally. These are the true joys of life. These are the true treasures, and yet they are hidden from us so much of the time. We hide them from ourselves, as we go through life in a state of distraction. They are so simple that we often do not notice these sublime gifts from God.

Right now I feel immense gratitude for these simple blessings. I stare out the window at the rain like I’ve never seen rain before. Such a wild and wonderful divine creation, nourishing the Earth with its wetness. Drops of water hang from every branch, and every red berry. Nature’s beauty is unfathomable. It’s ubiquitous, and yet so commonly overlooked as we rush from place to place, from activity to activity.

Here, in the stillness, there is profound peace, profound settledness, and appreciation for the incredible gift of life that I am continually inhaling and exhaling.

And here now, I am fully alive. Here, now, I am reveling in the gratitude that I feel to be in this body and on this Earth.

I am not always so grateful, but right now I feel humbled by God’s generous goodness and graciousness, allowing me to live one more day.

The sun peeks out from the clouds, illuminating them, a soft silver. And as I feel the hint of warmth from the window across the room, my heart leaps with the innocent joy of a child.

The raindrops keep falling – somewhere, there must be a rainbow. I sit on the floor, my legs enjoying a stretch with my heart open wide, reaching for the sky, warmed by the sun. I feel some hardness around my heart, and I yearn for the day when it will crack open and melt, but for now I just feel it in its fullness.

I am so lucky to be here as an artist. Noticing every subtle nuance, every detail, every drop of this divine creation, I share it with others, and it ripples out into infinity.

Sweet honey chia seed smoothie with cinnamon delights my tongue – my taste buds are invigorated, dancing.

The clouds have covered the sun again, thick and grey. And the wind howls, sneaking in through a crack around the window, breezing across my face – fresh and cool, awakening me.

In each moment, I am a little more aware, as my consciousness continually expands, and my appreciation grows deeper and deeper for the goodness of it all.

The birds are chirping, singing about the early arrival of Springtime, and funny memories of Spain tickle my mind.

I relax into a deep state of well-being. And laughter erupts from my lips.


Sarah Tornai said...

Thank you for letting me share that moment with you. I feel like I was siting there with you, in your dorm room. The beauty of what you just wrote is a perfect example of why I get so bored and exasperated with conversation sometimes. I wish we could always speak to each other with the same beauty and grace that you write with but it rarely happens. Sometimes I wonder why we bother speaking at all. The written word is such an amazing form of communication. Thank you so much for writing that.

Anonymous said...


reading your entry has me convinced, it is those moments when we are really truly present that are the most powerful. And in our "hurried" culture, those moments are quite rare, to easy to get wrapped up in the the *rush* of time is money? or just business, cuz it's bad to be seen as not doing anything or heaven forbid "lazy"... but truly... moments in nature, yoga, belly laughing, PLAY, art... just taking a moment to BE and breathe... those are moments that help bring us to our senses, present in the moment & most fully alive, most feelingly, most aware, you get my drift...

thanks for sharing this, as today i felt hurried for most of the day.. so what a wonderful entry to read....