My Life is a Story

My life is nothing but a story - I can observe it from the outside to gain perspective.

What is Erin doing right now? She's writing. And what is she feeling? Her heart feels achy and sad, like it always does. Even in the moments of her life when she has glimpsed peace & happiness, the deep, underlying sadness has still been there. But she feels more peaceful than she has in recent days.

She is taken care of and loved by so many people, even if she feels desperately alone & depressed sometimes. Sometimes she feels like giving up, throwing in the towel, calling it a day. Oh, how nice it would be to just disappear, but something tells me that isn't how the story ends.

She must build her strength - find the strength within herself - which no one can do for her. She must overcome all obstacles to become a radiant light for all the world. She must reach her full potential, despite herself, despite her self-sabotaging tendencies.

She must cease to play the victim and assume full responsibility for her life - all of it. She must continue down this path and continue to have many adventures.

She must live to tell the tale.

I Want To Tell Your Story

If everything was just pure joy & delight

I might not be quite so driven to write

It’s sometimes the pain that’s most inspiring

Although it’s uncomfortable, draining and tiring

And writing can turn pain into pleasure

Sorry to joy, and rubbish to treasure

It reminds me I’m not the doer, I’m a channel

As the poem writes me, I feel emptiful

Spirit expresses itself in so many ways

Filling the world with divine love & grace

I feel my heart fill with humble praise

And it shines a light through the murky haze

Desire, the fire of passion burns bright

My soul is blazing and longs to take flight

The heavens are calling me home to the Source

Such a powerful, magnetic, invisible force

I sob with the longing to finally go home

And all I can do is write this poem

Or sing about it in a song

Oh, how I want to return to where I belong

There must be a purpose for this existence

And yet, I still feel so much resistance

I feel like an angel who’s fallen to Earth

And entered the world through a human birth

There must be something for me to do here

Now if only the purpose were a bit more clear

Life would be so much more bearable

Instead of seeming so pointless and terrible

So I continue diligently on my path

Unwavering faith my dependable map

I pray & I pray to my Beloved Lord

Give me the strength to keep moving forward

Show me a sign so I know I’m okay

And let me know that You listen when I pray

Take me in Your infinite loving arms

So that I’m safe from the world’s harms

Comfort me when I feel so much pain

Shelter me & keep me dry when it rains

I’m your humble servant—just show me what to do

I lay down my life on the sacred altar before You

I praise You & bow to You now and forever

Your name is on my lips & heart in my every endeavor

So do what You will with me—use me for your glory

Fill me with your love & grace so I can tell your story